Father Figure
by Sam285
Summary: In the aftermath of the Estelle saga, Kelly finds an old letter in a box she never knew she had and suddenly, everything changes. This is another one of my older fics.
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1**

Kelly rolled onto her side and closed her eyes for the umpteenth time that night. She couldn't sleep…every time she closed her eyes, she saw Estelle's face…every time she heard someone pass her door, she jumped out of bed, frightened that Estelle was back to "punish her".

Maybe this was what her father had meant by the "down side" of policing.

The only thing Kelly could really count on at that time was Matt. It seemed as though every time she needed him, he would walk through the door to comfort her. It seemed as though he understood every part of her…perhaps better than she did herself.

Joss was good too, but he was too…overwhelming. He was becoming her human shield, and Kelly wasn't so sure that she liked it. Sure, it had been nice for him to come and sleep outside her door, but she didn't like him fussing over her like she was some sort of invalid. At least Matt seemed to respect that she wanted to still be an individual.

She gave up on sleep once again and rolled onto her back. Kelly stared blindly at the ceiling, and tried to imagine something comforting. Finally, she settled on the feeling of having Matt right next door if she ever needed him…his promise that he wasn't going anywhere…

Next door, Kelly was sure that she could hear Matt moving around. She climbed out of bed and walked over to the wall that separated them. Sure enough, he was mumbling to himself in some kind of prayer. It sounded as if he was talking to himself.

She rested her hands on the wall and let her head lean against it. Kelly found it easy to take comfort in the fact that she could rely on Matt if anything bad happened to her.

Kelly slumped down against the wall and curled into a ball. Resting her head against the wall, she finally dozed off.

Kelly awoke groggily the next morning to the sound of cars outside. Knowing full well of her early shift that morning, she jumped out of bed, only to find herself in the arms of Matt Graham.

"It's okay, go back to bed, Sunshine." Matt said as he laughed kindly. Kelly blushed slightly and sat back down. She looked around, wondering what on earth Matt was doing in her room. "I was wondering why you didn't come down to breakfast, so I came up and you were asleep against the wall. Don't worry about work…Alex will cover for you with the Boss."

Kelly met Matt's eyes with confusion. She was still half-asleep. She looked around her room and noticed a plate with a couple of slices of toast on it sitting on the end of her bed.

She was instantly reminded of when Estelle had brought her toast, and kicked it onto the floor out of instinct. Matt followed the toast with his eyes and cast Kelly a concerned glance.

"You are not seriously going to tell me that you're alright…are you?" Matt said as he narrowed his eyes. Kelly flopped back onto her bed, letting her long blonde hair hang down the side.

"I'm not alright," Kelly whispered softly under her breath. "I can feel it…something needs to change…I need to change."

Matt said down beside Kelly and placed his arm around her shoulders. He enveloped her in a hug, leading Kelly to dissolve into tears.

"This is so stupid!" Kelly cried as she clutched at Matt's uniform. "I mean, she's gone, I'm alive…what more do I want?"

Matt held Kelly as she sobbed relentlessly into his uniform, once again letting the tears flow as she had that night a week ago. Matt worried about Kelly; she had been coming in late for work every day, and Alex or Tom had to send her home most times. It was almost as though she was trying to hide how she felt.

"It's okay…it's okay…" Matt said as rested his chin on Kelly's shoulder. He ran through his own thoughts. The closer he got to Kelly, the harder it was getting to hide. Sure, Amy and Jonesy had exposed what had happened in East Timor, but there was more…more than Matt wanted to say…

Kelly finally rose her head from Matt's shirt and wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked awful. The constant sleepless nights were certainly taking their toll, and so was the stress. She was so used to being strong and capable, that now she wasn't so tough…she couldn't cope.

"Maybe it's time for a change," Kelly suggested, mostly to herself but partly to Matt. He watched her with intense interest as she broke away from him and his tear-soaked shirt and paced her room. "Maybe I could give this room a make over."

"You could," Matt admitted as he continued to follow Kelly with his eyes.

Kelly and Matt locked eyes for several moments, before Kelly's resolve once again crumpled and she raced back to his arms and sobbed once more.

"Or you could just cry for a little bit more…either way's good…" Matt said, taken aback by Kelly's actions. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her again and let his own thoughts be driven back by the concern he felt for his colleague.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

Kelly tore a poster down from her wall and crumpled it into a ball. Matt had spoken to Chris about the whole idea of 'redoing' the room, and Chris had been happy to oblige. Matt had left for work, much to Kelly's displeasure. It meant that he wasn't right next door if she needed him. It made her feel kind of empty and scared.

She jumped as she saw a small black…thing made a dash for under her bed. Kelly jumped backwards and had to clutch at the wall desperately to stop herself from falling. Her heart was racing in her chest, pounding to a wild beat.

"Oh, Matt, I need you," Kelly told herself as she tried to catch her breath. It was only a spider…she was jumping at shadows today. She took her shoe off and dropped to the floor. She crawled under the bed and looked around in the darkness for the elusive spider. Finally, she saw it sitting on top of an old cardboard box that she couldn't even remember owning. "Gotcha!" Kelly exclaimed as she brought the shoe down hard on the spider. In the process, the box was knocked on its side and an envelope fell out.

Her heart began racing as she took the envelope in. There was no address or stamp; just 'Kelly O'Rourke' written neatly on the front. Kelly's thoughts immediately turned to Estelle…after all; it would be just her style to leave Kelly a reminder of the whole situation. She reached out and took the envelope with a shaking hand and moved back out into her room.

Out from under the bed, Kelly could now take in the envelope properly. It appeared to be fairly old, as the envelope was yellowed and even seemed to have endured a coffee spill. Unless Estelle had specially aged it, it couldn't have been from her.

She heaved a great sigh of relief and turned the envelope over in her hands. There was no return address on the back either, just the name 'Senior Constable Tom Croydon'.

"The Boss?" Kelly asked herself as she began to tear at the envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper folded three times. She carefully unfolded it and inspected the letter. It was dated for the 1st of August 1983…just days after she was born. Overcome by curiosity, Kelly began to read:

_It is difficult for me to write this, knowing that you may never read it. I've left it for your mother to decide. All I have for inspiration is the memory of seeing you at the hospital just days ago, and a picture that your father gave me. You're such a beautiful baby, and I'm sure you'll be a beautiful child and woman._

_I really don't know why I'm forcing myself to write this; perhaps it's just to clear my own conscience. Maybe I just need to get it out, because I could never tell you or your father to your faces. I would never have been able to bear seeing your expressions fall._

Kelly was intrigued. Estelle had been forgotten as she continued to read. However, what came next was to leave her devastated.

_The truth is, you may not be an O'Rourke. There is a fifty-fifty chance that you could be my daughter. I'm not proud of the affair your mother and I had, and I never will be, but I need you to understand that either way fate has gone, I still care about you and love you._

Kelly drew away from the note as if she had been burned. The letter went on, explaining the circumstances governing why the affair had occurred, and her mother's steps to rectify the situation, but she didn't need to read on. She let it fall slowly to the floor, and she wrapped her arms around her.

In less than five minutes, her whole world had turned upside down. Suddenly, she may not be who she thought she was. All her life could have been one big lie. She may not be the daughter that her parents had planned…she could very well be Tom Croydon's secret love child.

She began to rock backwards and forwards on the edge of her bed. It felt as though her whole world had come crashing down. All this time…Tom's protective nature…his kindness towards her…could it have all been because he thought she was his daughter…the only one he had left?

Kelly wanted to scream, or shout, or cry…but everything caught in her throat. All she could manage to do was let out a strangled gasp. Her body shuddered, not allowing her to get a breath in and keep it in.

"Hello, Sunshine?" a voice called from outside her door. Kelly didn't need to ask or do anything…she already knew it was. Matt had promised to drop by during his lunch break and check up on her. He was worried; not that she couldn't blame him.

But right now, she would have done anything just to have him leave. She didn't think she would be able to face up to him, or anyone for that matter, after what she had just read. She had just learnt that the world she had built up around her could be one big fat lie…Tom's big fat lie…her mother's big fat lie.

"Kel? You in there?" Matt asked again as he rapped loudly on her door. Kelly finally turned her head towards the door, desperately praying that he would just go away. Unfortunately, Matt had a different idea.

Matt let himself into her room, and was a little taken aback by the messiness. He was holding a bag of takeaway in his hands, which he sat in the doorway as his eyes darted to Kelly.

"Kelly! Are you okay? Has something happened? Is it Estelle?" Matt asked as he sat beside her and draped his arm around her shoulders. Kelly didn't respond, and instead placed her head on his shoulder. She began to cry silently – in stark contrast to her loud wails earlier that morning.

Matt let his eyes fall to the floor, where he noticed the letter. He reached down and picked it up, letting curiosity get the better of him. Slowly he read, and his eyes widened as he reread it several times.

"Who am I, Matt?" Kelly asked in a shaky voice. "Who am I meant to be?"

He let the note fall to the ground as he pulled Kelly as close to him as he could. Matt rubbed his hands up and down Kelly's back in an attempt to comfort her, but it was obvious that she remained just as distressed as ever.

"You're still Kelly…nothing changes," Matt told her as he rested his chin on her shoulder. He momentarily dropped his own defences, and his mind wandered back to that day when he was only eleven years old. Quickly, however, Matt reprimanded himself and turned his thoughts back to Kelly. "Nothing ever has to change."

Matt walked back into the station, anger running through his veins. He had ended up switching of his mobile because Alex had been calling him so much. It wasn't that surprising, seeing as he had taken a very extended lunch break.

Tom noticed Matt's loud entrance and walked out to meet him. 

"Thankyou for gracing us with your prescence, Matt…" Tom began, but trailed off as Matt used all his force to push the formidable Senior Sergeant against the nearest wall.

Alex, Amy and Jonesy – the only other officers in the vicinity – immediately jumped to attention.

"Constable!" the three roared in unison, but Matt took no notice of them. He simply concentrated all his being on keeping Tom pinned to the wall.

"How could you do that? How could you do that to Kelly?" he demanded, and Tom's face drained of all colour.

Tom secretly knew exactly what Matt was talking about – it was the one thing that had remained on his mind day in and day out for the last twenty-two years.

"Let him go, Matt," a quiet voice spoke, and the gathering turned to see Kelly standing in the doorway. Matt didn't obey straight away – after seeing Kelly bawl her eyes out for the last three hours, he wanted Tom to suffer – but eventually pulled away and folded his arms across his chest.

Kelly stood there, barely managing to meet Tom's eyes. She was wearing the same loose t-shirt and jeans that she had been wearing all day and her hair still looked unbrushed. Her eyes were red from crying on Matt's shoulder, and her cheeks were stained with tears.

"Boss," Kelly said with as much strength as she could muster, "I think we need to talk."

Tom gulped and nodded sadly.

"Yes, I think we do."


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

Kelly watched from inside Tom's office as Alex attempted to discipline Matt for his actions. It was obvious by the expression on both faces that Alex was failing terribly. Right now, she'd give anything to be out of there…maybe she wasn't quite ready to face the Boss about this…

It appeared that Tom had similar thoughts on his mind. He seemed uncomfortable with what was going on…understandably so. Kelly didn't know what to say to him…or even if she wanted to forgive him.

Two different scenarios were playing out in Kelly's mind. The first was a 'happily ever after' kind of story, where Tom turned out to be her father, and they embraced the relationship between them. The second was a more sour one, where Kelly couldn't even look her Boss in the eye and ended up ostracised from everyone she loved.

Tom had never done her wrong; Kelly pondered as she regarded him as coolly as she could. If he had ever actually done anything wrong, it was care about her too much. And the only issue Kelly had with that point was that there could be a secret motive behind it.

He paced before her, mumbling to himself under his breath. Kelly caught occasionally snatches of his ramblings, and most of it was self-blame. It was obvious that he was wearing this situation heavily on his conscience…and Kelly didn't know if that was how she wanted him to think of it like that or not. Could he be worth forgiving?

Finally, Tom stopped and turned to Kelly slowly, and she was taken aback by the guilt in his eyes. It struck her hard that he was being punished for this every day of his life, but had hidden his pain nevertheless…from Nell, his daughters, Grace…

"This was not how it was meant to happen…you weren't meant to find out this way…" Tom said in kind and gentle tones that Kelly hadn't heard in well over a year. He drew in a deep breath and glanced briefly around his office before returning those guilt-ridden eyes to Kelly. "Your mother was meant to tell you…give you the letter when you were ready…I thought she'd decided not to after your father died."

Tom began pacing again, obviously becoming nervous again. It seemed he was lost for words, and so was Kelly. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense…kind of. Her mother had hidden it not only to protect herself and Tom, but Kelly and her father as well…not that it made everything seem okay in Kelly's mind, though.

Kelly followed the Boss with her eyes as he moved around the floor of his office. He had returned to mumbling to himself, desperately wishing that it wasn't him that had to explain this…he had never planned to be the one to have to.

"You were grieving," Tom said, taking Kelly by surprise as he stopped suddenly and turned to her. "After seeing you mourn your father…your mother couldn't bear to let you know this. She told me that she had destroyed the letter…how you ended up with it I have no idea…" He trailed off and finally dared himself to meet Kelly's gaze. Her eyes softened in response…perhaps she was being too hard on the Boss. "Have you told your mother yet?"

She shook her head and leant against the window. Truth was, she didn't know what to say. She had thought about telling her mother…but each time she considered it, only insults and tears came to mind. So Kelly had decided against it for now.

"What could I say?" Kelly answered finally, and realised just how the one statement summed up the whole situation. What could she say to Tom, to let him know just how she felt? What could she say to Alex, to excuse all this irrational behaviour? What could she say to Matt, to let him know how much she appreciated him being there?

Tom nodded understandingly – or at least, pretend understanding – and turned his gaze away. Kelly watched as he sat down at his desk and rested his head in his hands. Part of her wanted to tell him that it was fine, and that she could understand now, but another part still remained unconvinced. Another part of her was still feeling betrayed and hurt by those she loved most…she wasn't sure if Tom could ever be entirely forgiven.

A loud knock came at the door, and the two looked up in surprise to see Alex standing there. He seemed to have realised that he had walked in on a tender moment, and was not at all sure of himself.

"What would you like me to do about Matt, Boss?" Alex asked, switching his gaze from Kelly to Tom and back again.

Tom looked to Kelly, who had set her gaze on Matt, who was sitting at his desk, obviously concerned for her emotional welfare. She couldn't blame him…she had just been crying on his shoulder for most of the afternoon.

"I think going home with O'Rourke might be the way to go…as long as she agrees, that is." Tom said, and Alex turned to her. Kelly looked up in surprise and nodded.

"Yeah…whatever," she mumbled as she stood up and walked out, feeling hurt that the whole situation had just been pushed to one side by Tom.

Matt opened the door to his room and Kelly was surprised by its messiness. For some reason, she had always picked Matt to be a bit of a neat freak, but it appeared to be anything but the case. She narrowed her eyes as she noticed the smashed mirror, and turned to Matt expectantly. Kelly opened her mouth to respond, but he anticipated it and laughed.

"Would you believe me if I said that I punched myself in the face?" Matt said as he flopped down on his bed. Kelly remained in the doorway, looking around with uncertainty. "I know it's a mess…unfortunately, search warrants don't include a 'clean-up' clause. Or maybe that should be fortunately…"

Kelly made her way through the mess and joined Matt on the bed. She tried to push all thoughts of Tom Croydon and letters from her mind…she just wanted to unwind and enjoy an evening with Matt.

"How about we watch one of the Graham family's home movies?" Matt suggested as he stood up and began to search through a messy drawer. Kelly craned her head to watch him as he drew out an old VHS tape and waved it in front of her. "With any luck, I'll have you laughing within the next ten minutes."

"You obviously never met my family, then," Kelly said as a smile spread across her face. She remembered the O'Rourke family barbeques fondly. All her cousins would come over, and they'd play cricket or footy or something in the backyard. It was really very cliché, but Kelly could never have imagined her childhood being any other way.

Matt chuckled to himself and pushed the tape into the VCR. Sure enough, Matt was true to his promise. Kelly was laughing as soon as Matt, no older than one-year-old, appeared on screen, toddling around wearing little more than a nappy. He appeared to have gained possession of the talcum powder, and was squeezing it all over the place. A woman – Matt's mother, Kelly presumed – was chasing after him, attempting to coax Matt back into her arms.

"That's mum," Matt supplied, and Kelly turned to him with a start. "She was really nice…and so pretty…"

"Was?" Kelly asked curiously as she watched sadness creep into Matt's eyes.

"She died…shot when I was eleven." Matt explained, and Kelly recalled Matt's story from the counsellor's. She hadn't heard it herself, but word travelled pretty fast in Mount Thomas. Alex had told her about it, and about how Matt had flatly denied it's truthfulness. "I never knew that dad was the violent type…" Matt continued, apparently forgetting Kelly was right beside him.

Her eyes clouded over with tears for Matt and took his hand in her's. She rubbed it gently as Matt stopped the tape and held his head in his free hand. Kelly kept her eyes fixed on Matt's expression, and was surprised when she saw a couple of tears slide down his cheek. She wiped them away and leant forward.

Kelly let her lips brush against Matt's, and immediately his tears stopped. They let their gazes meet, and both were surprised by the pleasure in the other's eyes.

"I…I think I like you," Kelly whispered softly. Matt responded by giving Kelly a tender kiss on the lips.

"I think I like you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Kelly awoke the next morning with the blankets of Matt's bed wrapped thickly around her. At first, her mind was fuzzy and refused to process anything, but finally she remembered watching Matt's family movies before announcing her 'like' to him. They had started drinking at that point, as they reminisced about their families and 'the good old days', as Matt had called them…before Matt's father had turned violent…and well before Kelly had ever found the letter. It had been nice to open up so much to someone like Matt.

She sat up and took in her surroundings. Lying in a sleeping bag on the floor was Matt, snoring away despite it being nine that morning. In typical Matt fashion, he had let Kelly take the bed while he settled for the floor.

"Good morning, Sunshine," Kelly said quietly with a smile as she climbed out of bed and knelt down beside Matt. She kissed him gently on the cheek and left, deciding that she was ready once and for all to go back to work.

Kelly dressed hastily, not wishing to spend too much time in her own room, which was still a pigsty from the attempt she had made yesterday to give it a make over. It still reminded her too much of Estelle.

She returned to Matt's room, to find that was still sleeping. He had a rostered day off, so Kelly saw little point in waking him up...opposed to her early shift, which she was already late for. She scrawled a note on a scrap of paper hanging from a half-opened drawer and left it on Matt's dresser in front of the broken mirror.

Smiling to herself, Kelly left the room and headed downstairs for breakfast.

Alex looked up, quite surprised, as Kelly entered the station, looking rather contented and pleased with herself. All thoughts of Tom had abandoned Kelly for the moment, and she was enjoying the freedom to revel in her relationship with Matt.

"Hey…what are you doing here?" Alex demanded as he watched Kelly sit down at her desk. Kelly regarded Alex with confusion and rose her eyebrows.

"Working, check the roster, Alex," Kelly responded as she looked over her desk. She tried to work out where to start on the four or so piles of paperwork that had grown there.

"Uh, no you're not." Alex said as he pulled out the roster and waved it centimetres in front of Kelly's nose. "The Boss said you might want some down-time, and I rostered Susie on instead. So you're free to go home."

Kelly fixed Alex with a glare, which answered him better than any words could. It was one of those glares that said 'I'm staying, get over it'. He drew back and flopped down into his seat. Kelly presumed that he was sick of people undermining his authority. In particular, her.

She set to work on reducing the pile of paperwork sitting on her desk. It had appeared to have grown higher in her absence, and now Kelly had to wonder whether she would ever catch up.

Then again, Kelly realised; there was no such thing as catching up on paperwork in the police force. People would always be committing crimes, and the police would always have to fill out a report as a consequence of solving those crimes. It was simply a fact of life that they had to deal with.

Susie and Joss walked in from patrol, and both seemed surprised to see Kelly sitting there, ploughing through paperwork calmly. Word of Matt's outburst with the Boss had spread fast, confounding their puzzlement and curiosity. Kelly hadn't really been working properly since the whole incident with Estelle and Spongebob…not that they could blame her, of course.

"Hey, Kel, good to have you back," Joss remarked as he approached her slowly. "Didn't expect to be seeing you so soon."

"I'm a copper, I have a shift…therefore I'm working," Kelly explained. Her good mood was sinking fast – everyone at the station still seemed to think that she was some sort of invalid who couldn't handle a little stress…unlike Matt…

Joss drew away and sat down at his desk, but cast Kelly constant glances. As much as Kelly valued her friendship with Joss, she remembered just how much it annoyed her as well. He was too…protective. A little too obsessive about her. She dreaded the moment when he'd find out that she was starting a relationship with the new cop.

The day wore on, and Kelly was getting bored. She hadn't really returned to work to do paperwork, and although she was pleased that the pile was slowly going down, she was itching for some action. So, it stood to reason that she was jumping to go out with Susie to handle a domestic on the outskirts of Mount Thomas.

The drive out to the farm was a silent one, as Susie had learnt from Joss's failed attempts to start conversation or convey concern. In a way, Kelly kind of wanted to talk to Susie…perhaps just to gain some female input into the whole situation. But then again, what could Susie really tell her that Tom or Matt hadn't told her already?

The domestic was hard to miss, as Kelly and Susie could hear the shouting before they even reached the dusty country road. Kelly noticed Susie casting her a concerned glance from the corner of her eye as they pulled up, and knew instantly that her reaction to Spongebob at the train yards was far from forgotten.

Kelly and Susie approached two people, a mother and her son presumedly, with caution. The knife in the son's hand glinted with the afternoon rays, and Kelly braced herself for a flashback to Estelle and her knife…but one didn't come. Perhaps she had so much on her mind that Estelle had been forgotten…

"Who are you?" snapped the son as he spun to Susie and Kelly with his knife. Susie drew away and rose her hands slightly.

"I'm Senior Constable Raynor, and this is Constable O'Rourke," Susie said gently as she took several steps towards the pair, "now, could you please tell us what's going on?"

Kelly watched as the mother tried to make a run for it, but had her wrist grabbed by her bulky son, and was jerked to his side.

"None of your beeswax," the son responded coldly, "but if you must know, my mother's a dirty slu…"

"Don't use that language…" the mother began, in a typical mother fashion, but her son pushed her to the ground before she could finish.

Susie took another three steps towards the pair and reached out towards the knife discreetly.

"Now," Susie said, remaining level headed and calm, "I'm sure we can talk this over at the station…"

"No!" the son – who Kelly picked to be no older than 17 – cried, grabbing his mother and pulling her close to him. He jerked the knife away from Susie's hand and held it to his mother's neck. "I'm sick of talking! Bugger it, I'm sick of listening, too. I want action…I want payback."

Susie drew in a deep breath and took another, far more cautious step.

"No closer!" the boy yelled. "You come near me, and none of us will be leaving here today!"

Susie placed her hands on her hips and paced around the patrol car, squinting her eyes against the afternoon glare. Kelly approached her and folded her arms.

"We have to do something, surely we can do something." Kelly said in a hopeful and determined voice.

Susie shook her head and sat down in the driver's seat, letting her legs hang out the open door.

"Nothing we can do. Boss's orders, I'm afraid…wait for backup." Susie explained as she tapped the dashboard to the beat of some popular song. Kelly grabbed the roof of the car and leant into Susie's face.

"I didn't join the force to sit around doing nothing on 'Boss's orders'." Kelly told her as she headed back towards the son, who still held that knife to his mother's neck.

"Kel!" Susie called helplessly as she watched her younger colleague approach the situation.

Kelly watched as the son regarded her suspiciously.

"What do you want?" he demanded in a harsh and impatient tone.

"I'd like to know why you have a knife to your mother's throat," Kelly said gently, mimicking Susie's tones perfectly.

The mother closed her eyes, while the son considered what to tell Kelly. She waited for him to speak, but didn't expect what she was about to hear…

"Turns out my mother had an affair when she fell pregnant with me. Dirty bitch, she deserves to die!" the son shouted, tightening his grip on the woman in his arms.

Kelly covered her mouth in shock and backed away…this was just about the last thing she needed.

Susie watched as Kelly returned to the patrol car.

"Any luck?" she asked, despite knowing what the answer would be.

"Mother slept with some other guy when she fell pregnant…poor guy doesn't know who his father is…can't say I blame him for getting angry." Kelly explained.

"I can," Susie said quietly. "All his mother was trying to do was to protect him from something he couldn't deal with…as we can see here. She was trying to look after his reputation and his emotions. If the truth came out by accident…then, well, that's not how she meant it to be. You can't honestly tell me that he should kill his mother over it."

Each and every one of Susie's words hit Kelly hard. The older blonde had a point…and Kelly had been so blinded by her own feelings that she couldn't see it. She now had a different perspective on her own situation…perhaps Tom didn't need to suffer anymore…maybe he didn't deserve it…

Another patrol car carrying Joss and Alex pulled up behind them, and Kelly immediately saw the panic fill the son's eyes.

"What are they doing here?" he demanded, and pressed the knife against his mother's neck. "That's it, I'm going to kill her."

"No!" Kelly cried as she raced back over to them. She jumped on the mother and son, and managed to hit the son over the head with her gun. Problem was…it was too late for the mother, who had been wounded by her son in struggle, despite Kelly's attempts to protect her. "Oh, crap." Kelly mumbled as she sat back and regarded what had become of her efforts to 'protect' people.

"I need an ambulance…" Kelly could hear Susie say into her radio. Kelly sat back on her knees and began to sob. This was a Joss Peroni-level stuff-up.

Kelly sat in the mess room, trying to drown her guilt in a cup of coffee. She remembered Susie's words, and kept them ringing in her ears. The mother didn't deserve to die…but she did anyway. And then there was the son, fatally wounded by Kelly…

"I shouldn't be on the force…" Kelly told herself as she stirred her coffee again miserably.

"Drowning your sorrows?" asked a kind and warm voice. Kelly turned to see none other than Tom standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest. He was so much like a father; Kelly realised, as she took in his stance. The look in his eyes conveyed concern and love for her.

"I messed up." Kelly told him. "I had my orders…and I disobeyed them. And now I have the blood of two people on my hands."

Tom noticed Kelly on the verge of tears and walked into the room. He enveloped Kelly in a hug, and Kelly didn't fight against his warm and father-like grip.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

Matt was waiting downstairs when Kelly returned to the Imperial that night. He had a glass of water in his hands, and waved cheerfully to her as she passed. He was taken aback, however, when Kelly merely flashed him a forced smile and headed to her room.

He followed out of concern and curiosity as Kelly entered her room and flopped down onto her bed. Matt regarded the mess of a room solemnly, before inviting himself in. He settled beside Kelly and rubbed her hand gently.

"Anything interesting happen at work?" he asked softly, and Kelly rolled onto her side, hitting Matt's hand away in the process. "I'll take that as a yes…"

Kelly sobbed as she laid on her bed, unable to dismiss the images of the son and mother, lying dead side by side at the farm before her. She didn't want Matt anywhere near her at that moment…come to think of it, she didn't want anyone anywhere near her at that moment.

Matt wasn't leaving, though. He kept combing his fingers through her hair as he pulled it off her face, and let his mind turn to thoughts of how wonderful it was to be able to tell Kelly just how he felt, although 'like' didn't quite seem strong enough to describe it.

Perhaps this was love.

Kelly awoke, surprised to find warm arms draped loosely around her waist. She rolled over and followed the arms back to the body lying beside her…it was Matt, who was in bed beside her, fully clothed. The whole night seemed a blur to Kelly, but she did remember crying herself to sleep in Matt's arms.

He stirred slightly, and Kelly lay back down again. She didn't have to come into work until mid-morning, so that was what she was planning to do. Besides, it gave her time to work out how to phrase what she had to say to Tom Croydon.

In the arms of sleeping Matt, Kelly formulated the words in her mind. She had come to a decision the previous night while she had been in the father-like arms of the Boss…she had to find out who was her father either way.

Working out a way to tell Tom that she wanted to find out the truth was more difficult that it would have seemed. Finally, at about half-past eight, Kelly climbed out of bed and dressed slowly and methodically. Matt didn't have a shift until one that afternoon, so Kelly saw little point in waking him.

She once again scrawled a note for Matt as she went to leave, but this time added the words 'I love you'. Kelly wasn't quite sure why she had…but it felt right, somehow.

The real world was having a lot of fun messing around with Kelly that day, as the first thing she saw as she sat down at her desk was a post-it note on her computer, telling her that ESD would be wanting to speak to her.

"Life just keeps getting better," Kelly mumbled to herself sarcastically as she picked herself up at about twelve and knocked reluctantly on Tom's door.

She knew full well that all the things she had planned to say that morning would go out the window the moment she walked into his office…that was the way it went with her. And Kelly was right. As Tom opened the door to his office and wordlessly beckoned for her to enter, every word she had wanted to say just seconds before vanished, leaving Kelly wondering what the hell she was doing.

The silence hung over them heavily as Tom leant against his desk and Kelly against the wall. Kelly had never known the Boss to be lost for words - if anything he had always had too much to say – but now was a very different story.

"ESD will want to speak to you," Tom finally said in a voice that seemed shaky and uncertain. Kelly nodded, but didn't raise her gaze from her feet. They remained that way for several minutes before Tom gave up on the silence. He approached her and regarded the young constable. "I had some misgivings about having you in Mount Thomas," he said as he nodded to himself.

Kelly watched as he turned his back to her and headed back to his chair. He sat down and leant back in his seat. It almost seemed as though he knew what she wanted to say…perhaps he was trying to save her face.

"Once I got over the shock of that period…I started thinking," Tom continued, "perhaps having you around would be a good thing. After all, if you turned out to be half as good as your father…"

Tom trailed off; he only just realised what he had said. Kelly nodded in understanding – she got the drift.

"Whoever he might be," she finished for him in a quiet voice that was barely audible. She finally dared herself to meet the Boss' eyes, and saw a little bit of fear in them. She dreaded what she had to say, but she knew that she would have to tell him sooner of later…sooner rather than later. "I need to know, Boss," she said, the word 'Boss' catching in her throat.

"Of course," Tom said and tried to feign courage. "I'll call."

When Kelly returned to the muster area, Matt was sitting at his desk, fingering a piece of paper in his hands. Kelly recognised it instantly as her scrawled note, and felt her heart skip several beats in her chest. What had he made of her little message of devotion? Did he feel the same way? Or was she setting herself up for the heartbreak that she heard about on TV?

Matt didn't speak to her at all straight away. He waited until the other uniforms had left the muster area. Joss was being brought before the Boss for something or another, Susie and Alex had headed off for a coffee break and Jonesy was off at detective training school. Tom and Amy appeared to be keeping to themselves, which Kelly now knew could only be a good thing for herself and Matt.

A shadow moved behind her and dropped a scrawled note onto the report she was attempting for the disaster that was yesterday. Kelly picked it up cautiously and glanced over her shoulder. Matt was the only one around. Puzzled yet excited, Kelly unfolded it and read it, her eyes lighting up with joy.

_I love you too._

"Sunshine!"

Kelly looked up from her report; the darkness of the almost abandoned station setting in. She spun in her chair to see Matt sitting on the corner of Joss' desk, smiling broadly. Kelly could only smile – his note had been just to spark of light she had needed.

"You interested in coming for a drink?" Matt offered as he rested his hands on his knee. He looked so cute when he did that, Kelly couldn't help but think.

Kelly nodded and went to open her mouth when a voice pierced the atmosphere, sharply bringing her down to earth.

"Kelly!"

Matt drew in a deep breath and shot her an expression that clearly highlighted the awkwardness of the situation. Kelly let her spirits sink as she pushed her chair out and stood up slowly.

"Coming Boss," she said, letting Matt squeeze her shoulder encouragingly as she went.

"I phoned the hospital," Tom explained as he let Kelly get comfortable in the seat opposite his desk. She looked anything but comfortable – and perhaps Matt watching intently through the window didn't help. "They'll do the test tomorrow…I've changed the roster so Susie will be taking your shift."

Kelly nodded and closed her eyes in silent contemplation. The more she thought about it, the more certain she became. She couldn't go on living in this world where everything seemed to be so different and changing. She had to know just who her father was.

And this was the only way to do it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6**

Matt leant back against the wall of his room, his arm draped over Kelly's shoulders. She seemed almost relieved, yet still worried. He couldn't blame her, he supposed. She was about to find out the truth one way or the other.

"Another drink?" he offered, lifting the bottle from where it stood beside his bed. Kelly shook her head and began to gaze off into the distance again, as though it held all the answers to the questions that plagued her. Within a week…or maybe even days, if she was lucky, she would know the truth about her father. After all of this, she wasn't sure who she wanted it to be.

Matt sat the bottle back down again and began to play with Kelly's hair with his other hand. She was so beautiful…almost like an angel sent down from heaven to light his way. There was such a passion about the way she did everything – so much life, so much love. Not even this whole mess about her father had destroyed that innocent kind of beauty about her.

He meant what he had said in the note earlier that day…he loved her.

"Matt," Kelly said softly, shaking his shoulder gently. This time it was Matt's turn to be awoken from a daydream and looked into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Yeah?" Matt asked, still playing with her hair absentmindedly.

"Did you mean it? The note?" Kelly asked quietly. Matt seemed slightly taken aback by her question. After seeing the horrible things love could do to people – drive them to kill, hurt and create heartache – Matt wasn't sure how to phrase it to her. How could he phrase the way he felt, when words just didn't seem to be enough? How could he tell her that she had changed the way he saw love? It no longer seemed dangerous and painful, but more like an adventurous excitement that could lift you from a lonely stupor.

"Well…" Matt began, obvious embarrassment creeping into his features. "I…Kel, you mean the world to me. What else can I say? Of course I did. I wouldn't have written it otherwise."

Kelly's face brightened considerably and she leant over to kiss his on the lips gently. Matt accepted it and before long, they were locked in a passionate embrace.

When Kelly returned to the Imperial the next night, the first thing she noticed was the excited expression on Chris Riley's face. She was bubbling about, humming as she poured a beer for a much less pleasant customer. There was something of a spring in her step as she moved about behind the bar, and she almost hit the roof when she caught sight of Kelly.

"Kelly!" Chris exclaimed in an excited squeal. Kelly winced…what the hell was going on here? "You're back…early."

Kelly headed over and took up a stool at the bar. Chris leant across the bar, ignoring the impatient pounding on the counter from a group of customers.

"The Boss let me go early…it was a slow day." Kelly explained, then added as an afterthought, "Where's Matt?"

Chris practically split the beer she was pouring Kelly with excitement and she put it down promptly before she made a bigger mess.

"He had to…uh, take care of something." Chris said unconvincingly. Kelly nodded with uncertainty.

"Right…" Kelly mumbled as she gulped down her beer, or what Chris hadn't split of it anyway, and stood up. "I'd better be getting upstairs. I might head down later…okay?"

"Hey!" Chris chimed in that squeal of a voice again. The only reason that Kelly could think of to explain her behaviour as she headed up the stairs to her room was that Chris had had far too much to drink.

Kelly changed quickly into an old pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt and dumped her uniform on her bed. Closing the door of her room behind her, she wondered whether or not she should go check up on Matt. It took her mere seconds to decide that she should…he had been almost avoiding her all day. This worried her, especially after last night…

"Matt?" Kelly asked as she rapped loudly on his door. She could almost feel panic rush through him as he heard the sound of her voice. "Matt…are you in there?"

"Ah…can you hang on a minute?" Matt hollered back, evidently caught out. Kelly leant against the door to his room, humming that same annoying tune that Chris had been humming earlier.

Becoming impatient, Kelly knocked again.

"If you don't open this door, then I'll kick it down. What's going on in there?" Kelly demanded, folding her arms across her chest. Inside, Matt conceded defeat and opened the door. What Kelly saw astonished her.

Candles seemed to be everywhere, creating a scent that reminded Kelly of strawberries. It smelt beautiful. Rose petals had been scattered, and a pale pink light was cast over the room.

Matt was standing before her, wearing a formal black suit. His hair hung messily – Kelly had a sneaking suspicion that she had caught him out before he'd had the chance to finish making these 'preparations'.

"What the…" Kelly asked, inviting herself in and looking around Matt's room. Her hands covered her mouth as she began to mumble to herself in complete shock. "Oh God, Matt…what's this for?"

Matt ran his hand back through his hair, trying to hide the red appearing in his cheeks. He began to fumble around through the pockets of his suit.

"I meant to leave this note for you…I thought Chris would keep you busy long enough…you were meant to get really dressed up and it was going to be picture perfect…"

Kelly turned to him and regarded him with confusion.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly, but she immediately understood when Matt dropped on one knee in front of her. "Oh God…"

Matt drew in a deep breath and took Kelly's hand. She was kind of frightened of what he would say next, but she saw the honesty and devotion in Matt's eyes and let the feeling wash away.

"Kelly O'Rourke…you mean the world to me," Matt began, "when I first met you, I didn't understand why you had come into my life – or why I had come into your's, anyway. We grew closer…and I didn't really know if I deserved it or not. But I can't really explain the way I feel for you…every time I hear your name, a flutter kind of goes through my heart. There's this happiness that I've finally found someone to love, but this kind of guilt that I don't really deserve you."

"Matt…" Kelly whispered, tears filling her eyes in disbelief.

"No, let me finish," Matt told her, and Kelly closed her mouth automatically. "That's why…if you say yes to my next question, you will make me the happiest and the luckiest man to have ever lived."

Matt returned to digging through his suit pockets, until an expression of relief passed across his face. It was a small box, which Matt opened to expose a simple gold ring. Kelly almost jumped back in surprise.

"Oh…Matt…" she managed to gasp.

Matt drew in another breath and managed the next bit all in one breath.

"Kelly-will-you-do-me-the-honour-of-becoming-my-wife?" Matt asked in a flurry. Kelly watched him with uncertainty.

"What?" she asked, and watched as his face fell. "I didn't catch that."

"Marry me, Kel."

Kelly didn't need to think about her answer. Matt had stood by her during the toughest times of her life, and she loved him. He had stayed beside her when so few guys would. Okay…maybe this was rushing things a bit, but it wasn't as though she was some little kid. She was 22, and perfectly capable of making her own decisions. Anyway, she got a feeling that it wouldn't have mattered if it had been one week or one decade she had been going out with Matt. He was The One.

"Yes," Kelly finally said, causing Matt to jump up in surprise. "Yes…I'll marry you!"

Matt gathered her in his arms and swung her around in the air. With the whole disaster that was Tom Croydon, Kelly wished that that moment could have lasted forever.

By a week's time, word of Matt and Kelly's sudden engagement had rocked Mt. Thomas. Kelly had lost count of the number of times people had asked her if she was sure she wasn't rushing into things. And she knew that Matt was feeling likewise. So far, the only thing the Boss had had to say to them was to warn them not to let their love lives interfere with their work. So far, Tom hadn't even brought up the DNA test, so Kelly assumed that he was still as in the dark as she was.

"Hey, Sunshine," Matt whispered as he came over and kissed her cheek gently. Kelly was sitting at her desk, trying and failing to finish an already overdue report. She was so tense…she knew that the results would be back any day now, and was getting strung out over what the results would be. The only thing that seemed to keep her somewhat sane was her engagement to Matt. They had moved into his room, and Chris had even found them a bigger bed.

Kelly reached back and placed her hand on top of Matt's, which rested softly on her shoulder. She forced a smile for his sake and he began to kiss her cheek again.

"Lighten up," he told her.

She forced a smile and let her lips brush against his.

"Kelly?"

Kelly and Matt broke apart at the sound of the Boss' voice and Matt forced a laugh.

"Tom Croydon…the king of bad timing."

Kelly gave him a playful slap and stood up, straightening her uniform as she did so. The look in his eyes told her exactly what it was about. The results must be back.

Kelly had never been to the hospital much. As a kid, she had never really been the sickly type, and neither had her mother. In fact, she could pretty much count the number of times she had been in hospital because of herself on one hand, and most of those had occurred since she was stationed in Mount Thomas. And at least two of those times were thanks to Joss Peroni.

She had heard stories from other people about what it was like to sit in a hospital, just waiting. Kelly had never really understood it before, but she did now. The doctor that was meant to be giving them the results had been called away due to an emergency. This left Tom and Kelly sitting in her office, both trying to stop themselves from going insane with the waiting.

Kelly stood up and began to walk around the office, inspecting the pile of magazines on the corner of the doctor's desk. They were some of the most boring magazines on the planet. Eventually she settled for a 3-year-old issue of Women's Weekly and began to scan the pages for some bridal gowns.

Tom leant over and inspected the models on the pages, each one wearing a different type of white dress. He made a sound of mock understanding and looked away, momentarily contemplating.

"You love Matt?" he asked, finally breaking the awkward silence. Each word seemed to catch in his throat, as though the idea of love was something he couldn't grasp. Kelly looked up from her magazine and nodded slowly. "You aren't…rushing things a bit?"

Kelly realised that she should have seen this coming. She closed the magazine shut in annoyance and looked to her Boss. She opened her mouth to point out that she didn't need his approval, but then realised that this man could very well be her father. Her mouth closed instantly.

Tom folded his arms across his chest and began to gaze up to the ceiling, a smile – a genuine smile – spreading across his face. Kelly had forgotten how friendly Tom's smile really was. She hadn't seen it since she was a kid, after all.

"I really loved Nell," he began to explain; almost forgetting that she was sitting next to him. Kelly had opened the magazine to try to flip through again, but she paused to hear what he had to say. "I couldn't quite believe what happened between your mother and I…we were both happily married, I had children of my own. It's just…we were drunk. If I could see your father today, I would tell him how sorry I am. But he loved you, and your mother. No matter who your father really is…he'll still be your dad."

Kelly forced a smile and placed the magazine on the top of the pile, meeting Tom's eyes, surprised to see the honesty in his eyes. After a year and a half of having to go to work each day and see such a bitter and grumpy Tom Croydon, this new one was a pleasant change. She hoped he didn't go backward.

"Yeah…I know," she whispered softly and reached over to place a hand on his knee. Their eyes met fleetingly, and Kelly was suddenly unafraid of what the results might be. Maybe the Boss being her father wasn't such a bad thing, after all.

"Sorry about that," Dr. Mason said as she entered, closing the door behind her. "We had a bit of a problem."

The woman seemed to command Tom and Kelly's respect as she headed over to her desk and sat down. Kelly withdrew her hand from Tom's knee promptly. It was the moment of truth after two weeks of emotional torment. She knew that, no matter the result, Tom was there for her and that she still had her engagement to Matt, but there was still that niggling nervousness that refused to let her be.

"Ah, anyway…where were we?" Dr. Mason said as she picked up their file and began to flip through the results of the DNA test. Kelly became so engrossed at staring at the file in her hands, that she failed to notice Tom slipping her hand into his. "Right, well, I've gotten the results back, and…"

Kelly closed her eyes tightly and began to mumble to herself. She was praying, although she didn't really know what for. Maybe it was for the strength to deal with it…no matter what the next words the came out were.

"…there is a possible margin of error, but it's very unlikely," Dr. Mason continued, apparently not noticing Kelly's incomprehensible mumblings. Although Kelly couldn't see it, Tom was just as uneasy. He held onto her hand to stop himself from simply snatching the file from the doctor's hands and reading it himself. This was the worst feeling he had ever felt before in his life.

_Please_, Tom silently begged, _let it be alright. Let Kelly be alright._

"Are you ready to hear this?" Dr. Mason said, and was met with the cold glares of the two cops before her. She cleared her throat loudly – she had to get her kicks somehow – and finally decided to put the pair out of their misery. "Tom…if our tests are correct, then you are Kelly's father."

The atmosphere in that office could have been cut with a knife. Dr. Mason remained silent for a moment, letting the revelation wash over her clients. Kelly pulled her hand away from Tom and covered her mouth. The chair legs scraped across the tiled floor as Kelly jumped up and raced out, not wanting to be there one second longer.

Outside, Kelly collapsed into one of those horrible plastic chairs and hid her face in her hands. She waited for the tears to start falling, for her body to start to tremble, and the anger at Tom to return…but it didn't come. She waited there while Dr. Mason continued to speak to Tom, with all that technical doctor-babble that Kelly probably wouldn't have understood anyway. She waited for the sobbing to start, but even after several minutes, her face remained dry.

She looked up and regarded to corridor around her. People bustled past – patients, concerned relatives, doctors and nurses…not one stopped to ask her if she was okay, or what was going on. Not that Kelly wanted that, of course, but it seemed so strange that all these people were so wrapped up in their own worlds that they didn't think twice about her. Probably the same reason why she and her father had never stopped to think twice about the nature of Tom's presence in their lives.

Kelly turned at the sound of a creaking door to see Tom stepping out of Dr. Mason's office. His face was conspicuously blank, but his eyes told the real story. He seemed secretly pleased. Kelly supposed that he couldn't blame him; after all, she was really the only family he had left.

Tom seated himself beside her, yet their eyes didn't meet.

"She did say that there was a possibility of error." Tom pointed out in a voice that Kelly hadn't heard in a long time. It seemed so kind…so fatherly. She had to face the facts. Tom Croydon was a born father. He had just lost sight of this somewhere along the way.

Kelly looked to him and their eyes met briefly.

"Nah…she's not wrong. I can feel it, you know." Kelly explained and Tom nodded slowly. The young constable had a point…looking at Kelly was enough to make him wonder why he hadn't seen it before. She was his daughter. His flesh and blood. And he had missed out on too much already.

"Boss?" Kelly asked, meeting his eyes again. This time, she was brave enough to hold the gaze for longer. Tom nodded and pulled her into a hug.

His grip was so warm, and so comforting. He had this kind of look in his eyes, of pride. It struck Kelly. No matter how many mistakes she had ever made on the job or in her life…Tom Croydon had always been proud of her. Like a father. And she had always looked up to him. Like a daughter.

Somewhere along the line, someone had decided to give them a second chance.

THE END


End file.
